Let's Talk About Sex, Baby
Ok, this topic is super awkward for me…
My mom, grandma, and other family members read my newsletters….so, yea.
However, sex is a very important part of marriage so I must share (in a respectful and clean manner) as we finish up our marriage series.
Image from freepik.com
If you want to catch up on our marriage series, click below:
God had a plan when He created the world. He knew exactly what he was doing. He created the sun and stars, day and night, birds and fish of the sea, and every plant and animal. After each day of creation, He saw that it was good! God created man and woman. He created them to correspond to each other. He created every part of our bodies. He created man and woman’s bodies to fit together via sex. When He created them, He saw that it was good! And it was/is!
God’s creation of sex wasn’t just happen stance. He had a purpose in His design. He wanted us to be able to multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:28), but also to be able to have an intimate, pleasurable relationship with our spouse. Sex allows us to create a physical, emotional, and chemical bond with our husband or wife. Being in a vulnerable state, sharing all of our insecurities and flaws, and connecting through love allows us to build a stronger bond to each other and commitment to our marriage. It creates a oneness amongst the two spouses.
I understand that there are different seasons in life, trust me, we’ve had many seasons. But you need to find time or make time to have sex with your husband. Having sex with your husband helps build the connection that God intended your marriage to have. If your husband travels, find time before and/or after the trip to connect sexually with him—you need the connection, and he does as well. If you are not connecting emotionally or physically, unfortunately, it is likely he or you will seek a connection elsewhere—whether that be porn, chat sites, old flings, co-workers, etc., which will be detrimental to your marriage.
So, if you and your husband are struggling to connect physically, here are 6 tips to help your sex-life get back on track (sorry, Mom):
Schedule intimate moments. There’s a myth that sex is supposed to be spontaneous, but when you have a million things on your to-do list, are managing everyone’s schedule, and working sometimes you have to schedule sex time or it won’t happen. Pick out a time that works best for both of you and set an alarm. Just because it’s planned doesn’t mean the time together has to be robotic. And, just because you have a schedule doesn’t mean you can’t be spontaneous if the mood strikes.
If it’s painful, talk to a doctor. There’s no shame if it is painful, but this is probably something you should address with your doctor so you and your husband can connect physically in a pleasurable way.
Talk about things that will get you in the mood. Talk to your husband about what will help get you in the mood. Trust me, I’m sure he will be happy to do whatever it is! Do you need him to do bedtime with the kids so you can unwind for a bit? Do you need words of affirmation so you feel attractive? Do you need a make-out session so you get fired up? Let him know!
Try something new. Bored with the same ole positions every time? Explore new positions—there’s not a right or wrong way. This is an opportunity for you and your husband to connect and feel like one.
Try something new. Bored with the same ole routine every time? Explore new ideas—each of you come up with 3 ideas to try out over the next month. This is an opportunity for you and your husband to connect and feel like one.
Don’t feel sexy? Maybe you’ve withdrawn from sexual intimacy because you don’t feel as sexy as you once did. Pick out some new lingerie that makes you feel like a million bucks. Or ask your husband to pick out something for you (make sure you give him accurate measurements so this doesn’t backfire). Also, try using a blindfold to explore each other’s bodies in a new way.
My husband has a funny little saying, “Couples that have sex together….stay together.” He might be right! What do you think?
