Benefits of Rough and Tumble Play

As a mom, you know that parenting can often feel like a balancing act—ensuring your child’s health, education, and emotional well-being. And in today's world, it’s easy to think that structured activities like classes or screen time are the best way to guide your little ones. But what if I told you that one of the most important forms of play for your child’s development doesn’t come from a classroom or screen? It’s rough-and-tumble play.

I recently tuned into Jordan Peterson’s Podcast (Episode 343), where he sat down with movement and parkour expert Rafe Kelley to dive into the deep benefits of rough-and-tumble play. I’m often the “un-fun” parent that is putting an end to the rough housing, pillow fights, and wrestling. But this conversation made me rethink how I view physical play in child development, and I wanted to share what I learned with all of you.

What is Rough-and-Tumble Play?

If you're not familiar, rough-and-tumble play is essentially any type of playful, physical interaction where kids might wrestle, tumble, or engage in mock fighting. It’s different from aggressive behavior—this type of play is fun, joyful, and helps children learn to navigate both physical and emotional boundaries. It can be as simple as play-wrestling with your child, climbing, or even pretending to be superheroes!

While it might seem like just a way to burn off energy, rough-and-tumble play is actually essential for a child’s emotional and physical development. Peterson and Kelley argue that in today’s world, we’ve lost the appreciation for this type of play—and moms (and dads) need to bring it back.

Why Does Rough-and-Tumble Play Matter?

You might be wondering, “Why is rough play so important?” Well, I’m here to tell you that this kind of play has a huge impact on several areas of your child’s life:

1. Emotional Resilience
   In the podcast, Peterson and Kelley discuss how rough-and-tumble play helps kids develop resilience. It teaches them how to manage their emotions in the face of challenges. Maybe they fall down during a mock wrestling match, or maybe they’re outwitted by their sibling in a playful chase. These experiences help children develop emotional strength and the ability to “get back up” after setbacks—essential skills for life.

2. Social Skills and Empathy
   Through physical play, children learn to read social cues, understand when things have gone too far, and learn how to adjust their behavior based on the other person's reactions. They learn the delicate balance of being competitive yet cooperative. This helps them form positive relationships with others, which is crucial as they grow older.

3. Physical Development
   As moms, we often focus on the importance of academic success, but physical activity is just as important! Rough play helps your child develop coordination, balance, and strength. Whether it’s climbing trees, rolling around in the grass, or pretending to be superheroes, these activities help kids build the motor skills necessary for all aspects of their physical growth.

4. Fostering Healthy Masculinity (and Femininity)
   Many traditional masculine traits, like strength and competitiveness, can sometimes be misunderstood in today’s society. Rough-and-tumble play is a safe way for boys to express these qualities, while still learning empathy and respect for others. But don’t worry, girls benefit from it too—my daughter enjoys getting right in the middle of her brothers and taking them down! It teaches them confidence, self-regulation, and the ability to assert themselves in a healthy way.

5. Stronger Parent-Child Bonding
   As a mom, you might not think you’re the “rough-and-tumble” type (I’m usually not, but I’m learning to be), but getting involved in this type of play with your child can actually strengthen your bond. Whether it’s chasing them around the yard, playing a competitive game of basketball or engaging in playful “wrestling,” rough play provides an opportunity for quality, connection-filled moments between you and your child. Plus, it’s a lot of fun! I will admit that my 11 year-old is the same size as me, so there’s no more wrestling him—that’s dad’s job, but we still find ways to play through basketball or swimming competitions.

How to Incorporate Rough-and-Tumble Play Safely

Now, I know what you’re thinking—isn’t rough play risky? Of course, safety is always a top priority for us moms! So here are a few tips for making sure the play remains safe and beneficial:

• Set Boundaries
  Establish clear rules so that everyone knows what’s okay and what’s not. Rough play should never lead to real harm, and your child should learn how to respect others’ personal space and limits.

• Supervise and Observe
  Keep a close eye on the action. While it’s important to let them navigate play on their own, it’s also essential to step in if things get too intense or unsafe, which is likely needed in the early stages. Offer guidance when necessary.

• Create a Safe Play Environment
  Play outside in an open space where there’s room for movement. Grass or soft surfaces are perfect for these activities!

• Embrace Fun
  Don’t be afraid to get involved! Play with your kids, be silly, and laugh with them. It’s all about making fun memories and building those emotional connections.

Rough-and-Tumble Play Ideas

• Playing Tag

• Competitive Sports Games as a Family

• Invent New Games - There’s a game we call “Tails” where the kids tuck a sock into the back of their shorts to resemble a tail. Everyone stands in a corner, and when you say “go” you try to pull everyone’s tail without getting your tail pulled. My kids love to do this right before bed.

• Wrestling with Mom/Dad - my kids are older now so dad has taken on most of the wrestling job

• Games in the Pool - Marco polo, sharks and minnows

As moms, we’re always looking for the best ways to help our children grow into well-rounded, confident individuals. And sometimes, the simplest activities—like wrestling with your child or playing tag—can have the most profound impact.

So the next time your little one asks for a wrestle or a playful chase, don’t hesitate to dive in! Remember, rough-and-tumble play isn’t just about having fun—it’s about teaching resilience, building social skills, developing physical strength, and bonding as a family.

What about you? Do you love getting involved in rough play with your kids? I’d love to hear how you incorporate physical play into your family routine! Let’s chat in the comments below!