4 Ways to Fill Your Cup to a Balanced Life - Part 4
Want to catch up on our 4 Ways to Fill Your Cup to a Balanced Life series?
Self-Care
The fourth way to fill your cup is with self-care.
Self-care is deeper and more complex than just a trip to the spa. Self-care is intentional actions that nurture you spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It involves your mindset, how you talk to yourself, and what you dream about. It’s about healthy daily habits.
So why do moms have such a hard time with self-care?
Because you’re AMAZING!
Moms give and they give and they give. I believe God programmed moms to agape love. Agape love is a love that gives—it’s an unselfish love. Many moms continually give their time and energy to everyone else, which is great for everyone else, but the giving nature of a mother can be harmful to us.
Think of your love and energy as a cup of water. You give your kids a sip of your water when they get “thirsty.” You share your water with your husband when he’s “thirsty.” You share with your friends, co-workers, pets, and so on, but now you’re thirsty and your cup is empty.
Jesus helps us understand how important self-care is. There’s no mention of Jesus visiting the spa in the Bible, but there are examples of him pausing to renew his energy. He went off to recharge after teaching and feeding the 5,000. He went to be alone with God before he was arrested. Jesus even had to take time to grieve when John the Baptist was beheaded. We have a responsibility to be at our best so we can honor God in the work we perform for Him. Being a wife and mom is definitely work for God.
As I began to implement some daily habits, that I’ll share below, I noticed a shift in my mindset and behavior. I did NOT become perfect, but I feel I became more grateful, more optimistic, less stressed, mentally stronger, and I felt I did a better job responding to my children instead of reacting to their behavior. Still not perfect though! Through this change, I was able to not just survive, but thrive in the midst of 1 husband, 3 children, 2 miscarriages, and even find gratitude when a contractor stole $50,000 from us.
5 DAILY HABITS TO SELF-CARE
Balance. We’ve already discussed balance through schedules, delegating, and setting boundaries. All of these are important. It’s like a circle—having balance is taking care of yourself and taking care of yourself brings you balance.
Count Your Blessings. The second habit I would encourage you to practice is to count your blessings. As Christians, we should be aware and thankful for the blessings God has provided us. And I can tell you from experience that taking a few minutes each day to acknowledge my blessings is what helped me most to heal from feeling burned out.
I recommend getting a notebook or journal and jotting down 3 things you are thankful for each day. They can be little things like I made it to work on time, or big things like the baby slept through the night.
Even get your family involved with counting blessings. In our home, each night at dinner, each person is asked to share one thing they are thankful for that day. Sometimes the kids say silly things and other times their precious answers brighten your day. This habit is a simple habit that your children can carry with them throughout their lives.
Diet. The third habit is diet. This isn’t a food diet—although it is beneficial to eat a balanced diet. This is a diet for the mind—a diet regarding social media. We need to be careful what we allow in our minds and in our hearts because some images we allow in can begin to consume us and wear us down.
The average American spends 1300 hours a year on social media—that’s 54, 24-hour days on social media—that’s 1 full day a week on social media. And women tend to spend more time on the phone than men, so we need to be extra cautious.
1300 hours is a lot of time to spend being influenced by worldly things instead of godly things. 1300 hours is a lot of time to potentially compare ourselves to other moms and get disappointed in ourselves for not doing…for example…as good of a job as Sally.
I’m sure you realize we can’t compare ourselves to the best days we see “Sally” post about. That guilt is only going to block growth to a better, balanced you.
Encouragement. The 4th daily habit is encouragement. Ephesians 4:29 states, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” As a mom, you play a very important role in creating the present environment in your home. Create an environment that builds up instead of tears down. Let your child and your husband hear respectful and encouraging words and tones, rather than sarcasm and put-downs. It’s important to remember that this includes not tearing yourself down too!
I don’t know about you, but I’m my hardest critic. If I continue to discourage myself in my thoughts by saying, “Autumn you’re such a bad mom,” then my brain is going to look for evidence to fulfill that prophecy.
Just like we nurture our families, we must nurture ourselves with wholesome thoughts. Each day, reflect on the day and come up with one piece of evidence to prove to yourself that you are a kind, strong, beautiful, hardworking, fun, brilliant wife and mother.
Another great way of encouraging ourselves is by allowing recordings of God’s word to cycle over and over in our thoughts. Here are a few verses that are meaningful to me:
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
“God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.” Psalm 46:5
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord “plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Forgiveness. The 5th daily habit is to forgive daily. As Christians, we should be quick to forgive and quick to ask for forgiveness from those we have offended. We need to forgive ourselves when we mess up because it’s going to happen. We need to forgive our children when they mess up—they are probably messing up as you read this. And we need to forgive our husbands when they mess up—they will forget to take out the trash when we ask. We may have convinced ourselves that we have power over our husbands when we refuse to forgive them, but ultimately our lack of forgiveness weighs us down and impacts God’s forgiveness in our own lives.
It is also important to ask for forgiveness from those we have offended. This is not easy because we have to admit that we did wrong or we messed up, but it can serve as a great example to our children.
These 5 daily habits have been beneficial to my self-care. However, there are probably other daily habits that you implement in your life to nurture you. I would love to hear them, so comment below.
