You are Appreciated
Motherhood is hard. We all know it, but it feels even harder when you feel unseen or unappreciated.
I like to keep the house tidy—picked up and clutter-free. I think that’s pretty reasonable. I’m not an over-the-top neat freak, just trash in the trash can, toys go back after playing with them, shoes in your locker kind of person. My kids are old enough to comprehend these rules. However, often times I will come into the kitchen after snack time and there will be wrappers, dirty spoons, or crumbs all over the table. It makes me feel unappreciated. It feels like they are telling me they don’t care about the work I do to provide a clean house for us to live in. (I know they aren’t personally attacking me, but if I’m being honest, sometimes it feels that way.)
Do you ever feel this way? You work so hard and your work goes unnoticed.
I love my kids! They really are a joy and blessing in my life!
Motherhood is an endless amount of giving. You give so much because you love your kids—you love them hard! You love your kids that don’t like what you fixed for dinner, who think you’re a meanie, or who still haven’t followed the instructions you’ve given 4 times already. We didn’t sign up for motherhood for the recognition, and we don’t expect it, but it certainly feels nice to be seen, acknowledged, and appreciated.
So, I want to tell you that I appreciate you and all you do! Truly!
You matter and what you are doing matters. Each time you get up in the middle of the night to feed your baby matters. Every breakfast, lunch, and dinner you make matters (even when you’re the only one that likes it). Every boo-boo you mend matters. Every consequence you have to dish out matters. Every hug you give matters. Every piece of laundry you fold matters. Every battle over homework matters. Every prayer you pray matters.
The time you pour into your children is not done in vain. Your teaching, loving, and caring for your children all matter!
So don’t get discouraged when the nicely folded clothes in the drawer get pulled out. Don’t compare yourself to the best days you see moms post about on social media. Don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself. Keep doing your best…that’s all you can do!
We all have bad days, we all struggle with guilt, we all wonder if we are doing our best, and we all need encouragement. No one understands what you are going through more than another mom, so let’s encourage one another on our bad days. Let’s build each other up with a compliment. Let’s offer another mom help or a new perspective when needed. We are a team and teams work together to win, so let’s win motherhood!
BONUS
It’s so great to be seen and heard from other moms! But how do you get acknowledged by your husband or kids?
Be honest with your husband and kids. Your husband and kids are not going to pick up on subtle messages. Don’t beat around the bush. Tell them honestly (and nicely) that it would make you feel loved to see your work acknowledged.
Respect your husband. Men desire and thrive on respect. Respect him privately, in front of your children, and in front of friends. Put phones down, ask the kids to hold on for a minute, or turn around and look at him when he needs to tell you something. That will go a long way to showing your husband respect. Feeling respect from you will open him up more to being able to meet your needs of being acknowledged.
Quality time together. This goes for both husband and kids. I know quality time alone isn’t the easiest task especially when you have a house to manage, work to complete, and dinner to get ready, but nurturing your family relationships really helps keeps them healthy. This means they have a chance to find out your needs and you have a chance to find out their needs.
Verbal encouragement. You need to be acknowledged and seen, but so do your children and husband. Make sure you are offering them sincere encouragement.
Put them in charge. When all else fails. Let them (your kids and husband) take on some of your responsibilities so they can see and understand how much you do—especially behind the scenes.
My oldest and I were having a rough week—we just kept butting heads about everything. So, I thought it might be a good idea if we switched roles for the afternoon to gain some respect for each other. He was super excited about this plan, and I thought it was going to be a fun experiment to watch play out.
Everything started off fun, but by dinner time he was ready to throw in the towel. His brother and sister were constantly asking him when dinner would be ready; he had to go back and forth between chopping, stirring, and making sure the food in the oven wasn’t burning. Then he had to listen to complaints about what he fixed. I giggled a little on the inside, but was proud of him for pushing through! I appreciated it when he told me that I worked hard to make each of them happy because he really understood what I do!
I also learned to respect him more too. He takes a lot of initiative on himself to complete his schoolwork while I’m helping his younger siblings. He also does an incredible job playing with both his brother and sister—that’s tough work. It was a great lesson and bonding experience.
