4 Ways to Fill Your Cup to a Balanced Life -Part 3

Want to catch up on our 4 Ways to Fill Your Cup to a Balanced Life series?

Part 1 - Create a Schedule

Part 2 - Delegate

Set Boundaries

The third way to fill your cup is to set boundaries…or say NO!

If you plan to adhere to the healthy schedule you have created for your family you need to make sure that you also have some boundaries in place that allow you to say “NO” when it is needed.

Saying “NO” is not an easy task….unless we are saying it to our children—we are really good at doing that.

But I try to remember that if I want to say “yes” to a balanced life and family, then I need to say “no” to anything that does not fit those guidelines.

Sometimes this means saying no to extended family, no to church leaders, no to responding to a work email, or no to something I really wanted to do.

When I say no to things, I used to search for an excuse to give the person for why I said no. But then I heard a podcast that said I didn’t owe anyone a reason for my no being no. So, now when I decide to say no, I just kindly but firmly say “no.”

It’s hard to say no to people. I usually feel like I’m letting someone down if I say no. However, if I’m constantly saying yes to every little thing that comes my way, then I’m going to get drained of my time and energy, and I won’t have time or energy to say yes to the things I actually want to do. So, it’s important to ask yourself these 2 questions when you’re making your decision:

1. Is this going to suck up or drain too much of my energy to make this work?

2. Am I doing this thing for the benefit of me and my family or for someone else?

If your answers to those questions aren’t benefiting your family then say NO!

Take a second and think about it. Is there something in your life that you have been saying “yes” to that you really need to say “no” to? Is there?

Remember, when you cave and say “yes” you are also saying “no” to something else. “Yes” to that extra event might mean “no” to a relaxing family game night.

Take some time over the next few days, maybe with your husband, to create a list of boundaries that will allow you and your family to have the happy and balanced life you deserve. Our boundaries are not necessarily a list of rules for our family, but more of a guideline to make sure that we are putting our family first in our decisions and valuing our time together. Here are a couple of boundaries we have in place:

1. No phones at dinner.

2. Kids are in bed by 8pm each night. (There are some sporadic late evenings, but everyone functions much better after a good night’s rest.)

3. Family Game Night is the last day of each month.

4. Movies or TV only on certain days of the week.

5. No phones for kids.

6. Listen to each other. Don’t talk over each other. Wait until a person is finished speaking before chiming in.

7. Say what we are thankful for each night at dinner.