Parenting Without Screaming - Part 2
Last week we talked about how we can begin to grow and evolve into being our best mom by not disciplining through screaming. CLICK HERE to read Lesson 1: Control What You Can Control.
This week we are going to focus on ourselves. This seems backwards, right?! Well, our parenting style has become backwards. We have been taking all of the focus off of us and put it on our children’s needs and wants. Think about it…we are chauffeuring them around to different extracurricular activities, we buy them the cutest clothes, and we make sure they get a healthy meal while we feed off their scraps.
We are taught to “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” but if we loved our kids as little as we show ourselves love would that be right? You can’t be your best mom without first attending to yourself.
LESSON 2: Practice Healthy Self-Love
Loving ourselves and the effort that takes seems selfish, but sacrificing yourself for others while needing them to validate you is selfish. So how can we love ourselves without it becoming a selfish love?
There are 4 Levels of Love:
1. I love me for my benefit. This is the most selfish level. People are only after their own interests. Babies fall in this category because they are interested in their own survival.
2. I love you for my benefit. This is saying, “I love you and care for you because I receive validation.”
3. I love you for your benefit. This is selfless love (probably the category most of us fall into), but by thinking we can serve someone else without any motives increases our chances for our own self-deception and hidden expectations. Usually reverts back to level 2.
4. I love me for your benefit. This is saying, “I love me and work on myself so I can come to you from wholeness. From wholeness I can show you my love.”
We all want to get to level 4 of love, but how do we create a healthy self-love so that we can show others love?
We often tend to escape or run away when we are anxious from frustration. It’s unplanned. But if we take intentional breaks or retreats to regroup, then this benefits ourselves and others. This is a healthy way to love yourself. Do things that will benefit you and those you love—take a retreat (get your nails done, have a girl’s night, go on a trip, or retail therapy), eat healthy meals, take a nap, continue to learn and grow, etc. The fewer intentional retreats we take, the more we find ourselves unintentionally finding ways to escape.
This change is not going to be easy because we are used to familiarity, but I believe in you! I am here cheering you on! Email me one intentional break you took this week to refresh yourself.
