Saying "Yes" to Foster Care
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As many of you know, my husband and I like to talk about our future together (CLICK HERE). Even before we were married, we talked about what we wanted our family dynamic to be—we planned to have biological children and then eventually adopt. So many Bible verses share that it is our duty as Christians to care for those in need, and we felt a pull on our heart to help a child in need.
So, how did we end up in foster care if we were hoping to adopt?
Like I said, our hearts felt pulled toward adoption. When we felt our family was ready, we thoroughly researched adoption and even signed up with a Christian agency and completed a home study to pursue adoption. Even though we felt our family was ready to welcome another child, we didn’t feel confident that this path was the correct one for us. So, we began to pray, listen to podcasts, and talk to many families we know that have adopted (via private or foster care).
God began to reveal to us that private adoption was not the right path for our family. There are an average of 20 hopeful waiting families for every child being placed for adoption. Many of these waiting families have struggled with infertility and have waited many years to start a family. We felt we would be stealing a child away from a family that didn’t have children if we were picked over them.
We had an informational meeting with DFCS and a few private agencies to understand the process of foster care. We learned that there were different levels of “fostering.” There is adoption of a child that is basically orphaned (these are typically preteens, teens, and special needs children). There is resource parenting, which is fostering a child(ren) whose parental rights have been or are about to be terminated and will be up for adoption. There is foster care, which is children that need a safe home while their parents hopefully work a plan to be reunified with their children. And there is respite care, which provides a safe home for children in foster care whose foster parents need a break.
We felt this was the path God wanted us to venture on. We wanted to help children in need. We wanted to be a safe family and home for these children that have gone through so much. We still felt like adoption was in our future, so we decided to be resource parents.
After our first placement, we saw how much these children long for and need their family (whether parents or other relatives). No matter how bad it was in their home, they still have that biological and emotional connection. God began to impress upon us that maybe adoption might not be in our future—our goal is to just help children in need of a safe, loving home. We will be a cheerleader for the biological parents if they are willing to do the work for these children or we will be a cheerleader for grandparents, aunts/uncles, or other kin that is willing and able to step up for these children in need.
I’ve learned a lot from this journey to saying “yes” to foster care. It’s crazy how much God can change your perspective, or how you think you know what God is telling you but it’s something at the total opposite end of the spectrum. But if you’re willing to listen to Him, He will get you on the right path even when you make a wrong turn.
