Date Your Child

Often times as a parent, especially a parent to multiple children, our attention is easily divided among all the things going on. Our kids often get lumped together as one instead of as their individual selves. That can make it hard to develop a unique relationship with each of our children. So, date your child to help build a strong relationship with your child.

I totally get that schedules are hectic, the to-do list is a mile long and getting longer, you’re behind on laundry and dishes, and you aren’t sure the last time you washed your hair. Trust me…I’m in the trenches with you. So, please don’t feel like I’m trying to guilt you into adding one more thing on your to-do list. What I am saying is that none of that other stuff matters (ok…maybe washing your hair matters). It will still be there tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. But how many days do you have left with your child before they leave your home? Those days are limited, so use this time to build your relationship with your child so that eventually when they do go off on their own they will still call you to chat and come home to visit.

Benefits of Dating Your Child

Meet Your Child’s Needs - Having one-on-one time with your child allows you to see their emotional, mental, and physical needs that you might not notice in a “crowd.” This allows you to meet those needs or adapt your parenting style for that particular child for that season of life.
Learn About New Interests - Your child might have a new interest that you are unfamiliar with. This time together allows you to learn and show an interest in something they enjoy.
Share Secrets - Not really secrets, but alone time might allow your child to share something that has been on their mind that they might not say in a bigger group. This might help your child to feel safe and secure.
Strengthen Your Bond - When you get one-on-one time with your child it allows you to reconnect and build a closer relationship just like when you date your husband. This will be helpful when it comes time for conversations on bigger topics.
Reduce Attention Seeking Behavior - Spending quality time together allows your child to have a small amount of time solely focused on them. This might reduce unwanted attention-seeking behavior at home or school that was taking place.

One-On-One Dates

So, how do you add one-on-one dates with your child when your schedule is so full already?! All your child needs is your undivided attention. If all you can manage is 5 minutes a day or 30 minutes a week then that’s what will work. I recommend adding this date to your calendar—this will help you to remember it and not let anything creep into that time slot.

These dates do not have to be extravagant or expensive. All your child wants is to be with you. Here are a few things we have done on our 30-minute dates:

snuggled and read books together
watched them put together a lego set
colored
cooked dinner
played a board game
painted
ate breakfast together, while everyone else ate in the kitchen
ate lunch outside together
built a fort

Once you get comfortable with small one-on-one dates, feel free to add an adventurous outing to the mix. My husband and I take turns taking our kids out on a date a couple times a year. Here are some ideas we have enjoyed: