3 Signs Your Toddler is Addicted to Screens
You’re at a restaurant, the doctor’s office, or running errands and your toddler or preschooler starts to become fussy, so you take out your phone or hand them a tablet with a game to play or show to watch. Your child instantly becomes quiet, their eyes are glued to the screen, and they are sitting still. It’s perfect! Instantly our kids behave like great kids! That screen is like a paci for your child. Is anyone guilty of using a screen to soothe a fussy child? (I’m slowly raising my hand.)
I’ve been guilty of using my phone to buy a few extra quiet minutes for running errands or enjoying a nice meal out, but then I began to notice my toddler’s behavior when I would try to end the screen time. He would scream, pitch a fit, try to pull the phone back, or just bawl. This reaction was way worse than the initial fussiness I was trying to avoid. I began to question why my toddler was having this reaction and what screens were really doing to his brain and behavior.
As I began to read and learn about the effects screens were having on my developing son I kept seeing the term “digital addiction” appear. The word “addict” for a toddler seems extreme, but I began to discover that adults, teens, kids, and even toddlers can become addicted to screens. Let me explain.
3 Signs Your Toddler is Addicted to Screens
1. Most phone/tablet activities activate the pleasure pathways in our brain. When we do something like eating, winning a game, getting a good grade, receiving a bonus, exercise, successful social interactions, having sex, etc. dopamine gets released into our brain that causes us to feel good. Then our brains correlate that specific action with pleasure, and our brain craves the action again so we can receive more dopamine release and feel good again.
Games (video games, educational apps, Minecraft, etc.) have rewards systems built into them. When children receive these rewards while playing the games, it activates the release of dopamine in their brains causing that rush of pleasure. They want to continue to feel that pleasure, so they in turn, want to play the game. Further, the brain becomes desensitized to the dopamine, so more dopamine actions are needed to get the same level of pleasure that was initially experienced (this is the same cycle that leads to more familiar addictions like substance abuse).
Adults have a pre-frontal cortex that helps us make decisions and moderate negative behavior. It, hopefully, tells us when we have had too many brownies, when to put our phone down, when to stop scrolling Instagram, or when to put down that glass of wine. But the pre-frontal cortex isn’t fully developed until early 20’s so toddlers and preschoolers don’t have the mental systems to moderate their own compulsive behaviors. They want to continue receiving the dopamine rush that makes them feel good.
Does your toddler pull away the screen when you say time is up? Do they always ask for more time on the screen? Is their amount of screen time never enough for them and they want more? Do they cry when you tell them screen-time is up? These are signs that your toddler could be addicted.
2. Screen-time can cause overstimulation. Gaming companies make apps and games hypnotic, hyper arousing, and stimulating because they know it will lead to more time playing the game. In-game purchases, in-game advertising, purchasable bonus content or just being ready to buy the next version are all reasons the game designers would want to keep your child on the game. This is how the companies make money! But if we are constantly giving our kids fast-paced, hyper arousing technology then their brains are going to expect high levels of stimulation all the time which can lead to short attention spans or the inability to focus on simple tasks like reading a book.
Does your toddler have a hard time staying focused (I know toddlers naturally have a short attention span, but they should be able to focus for their age multiplied by 3-5 minutes)? Would your preschooler rather play on their Nintendo Switch than color or read a book? Are low intensity activities like playing outside not entertaining enough for them? These are signs that your child is having too much screen-time.
3. Screen-time has an opportunity cost. When I hear “opportunity cost” I have flashbacks of economics class, but opportunity cost in this case refers to what our child is missing when they chose to be on a phone/tablet instead.
When a toddler chooses to be on a screen at dinner then they are missing out on social interactions or forming bonds with those they love. When a preschooler chooses screen-time over reading a book, they are missing out on developing their speech and vocabulary. When a toddler chooses screen-time over playing outside, then they are giving up their free-play. When a preschooler chooses screen-time over telling you about their day then they are giving up building an emotional connection through eye contact. When a toddler chooses screen-time over being bored in the car then they are giving up a quiet moment to wonder and develop their imagination.
Does your toddler have a hard time riding in the car, eating at a restaurant, or waiting at the doctor’s office without a screen? Can they not be bored? Then it is time to adjust the amount of time they spend on a screen.
If any of these 3 signs of digital addiction rang true to you and your child—don’t fret. I’m here to help you! I’m going to explain the benefits of boredom, provide you with screen-free activities to take with you, and explain when and how to introduce technology.